'ha, ha!' chort-led nig-ger 'I'VE GIVEN UP the old rag in utter disgust,' growled Haymon Fugg, Q.C. 'And you, Admiral?' Admiral of the Fleet Sir St Clair Fopp-Jalopy sighed uncomfortab english
6 valiant bulls 6 DEAREST AUNT MAY, You will never guess what happened to me yesterday, which was Ascension Day, besides being my birthday! I met our new postman at the front english
a bicycle in majorca IT WAS NOT always so. Majorca used to be the most crime-free island in Europe. When I came back here with my family shortly after World War II, one could st english
a man may not marry his... YOUR CORRESPONDENT, TELEPHONING from 'The Twelve Commandments', a charming little public house not a hundred yards from the gates of Lambeth Palace, reports english
a toast to ava gardner IN SPAIN, a married woman keeps her maiden name, but tacks on her husband's after a de. Thus, on marrying Wifredo Las Rocas, our Majorcan friend Rosa, born english
an appointment for candlemas HAVE ITHE honour of addressing Mrs Hipkinson? That's me! And what can I do for you, young man? I have a verbal introduction from -- from an officer of your english
avocado pears TOM'S FATHER WAS a respectable chemist in Birmingham, an old-style Christian Socialist, and Tom, who went as day-boy to a local grammar-school and did brill english
bins k to t I WAS MORE amused than shocked when I first realized that I was a matchbox and pencil pocketer: it seemed a harmless enough form of absent-mindedness. Why m english
cambridge upstairs AS A CHILD, psychopath R.G. was conditioned to despise the Light Blues. First became aware of the concept 'Cambridge' at the commencement of a long series o english
christmas truce YOUNG STAN COMES around yesterday about teatime -- you know my grandson Stan? He's a Polytechnic student, just turned twenty, as smart as his dad was at the english
ditching in a fishless sea -- PABLO, THE DIRECTORS desire this office to supply a little folder of simple recommendations for English-speaking passengers in the Espanish Air Service, english
earth to earth YES, YES AND yes! Don't get me wrong, for goodness' sake. I am heart and soul with you. I agree that Man is wickedly defrauding the Earth-Mother of her anci english
epics are out of fashion PETRONIUS DID HIS best. He wasn't a bad fellow at heart, though he had the foulest mind in Rome and drank like a camel. And he was such an expert in the art english
está en su casa 'Holá -- señor!' The sudden summons came from a thin hook-nosed man in a baggy white shirt, blue striped cotton trousers, and a black felt hat, who rose sud english
ever had a guinea worm? HE SWUNG HIMSELF into the carriage just as we pulled out of Paddington, and sat down opposite me. 'Who says that losing your temper won't get you anywhere?' english
evidence of affluence IF I DO not know what degree of mutual confidence exists in the United States between income-tax official and private citizen, this is so because the questi english
flesh-coloured net tights DEAREST AUNT MAY, I must at last explain that long telegram I sent you from Olga, who's my ballet teacher, asking for all those pairs of flesh-coloured net english
god grant your honour many years I SLIT OPEN the flimsy blue envelope and, pulling out an even flimsier typewritten slip, began to read without the least interest; but recoiled like the man english
harold vesey at the gates of hell THE DIM OLD 'Pelican' sign had been wittily repainted by a modern poster artist. The once foul stable yard, frequented by hordes of sooty sparrows, had been english
he went out to buy a rhine 'HE WAS A very quiet, very sensitive young gentleman,' concluded Mrs Tisser, 'and punctual to the hour with his rent. I am truly sorry that he took the cowa english
honey and flowers A leaf from the diary of a Carthusian in the Golden Age. 6.45 a.m. Awaked from my couch of rose-leaves by the trill of a lark and the bite of a mosquito. Sh english
interview with a dead man AFTER A WHILE the dead man, recognizing my voice, began to whistle and imitate the masters of his old school, many of whom, bicentenarians, survived him. 'T english
kill them! kill them! THE POTTERIES WERE by this time a distant smudge on the horizon behind us and the map showed us close to the Welsh border. Jenny drove. Wales reminded us bo english
life of the poet gnaeus robertulus gravesa THOUGH SOME DETRACTORS are found who affirm that Gnaeus Robert ulus Gravesa was born of mean stock, his father being a servile Irish pedlar of mussel-fish, english
miss briton's lady-companion NOT EVERY MAN remembers his mother with deep affection. A good many have had little cause to do so. Yet of this unfortunate minority some take one road, som english
my best christmas 'QUEEN VICTORIA WAS still alive that Christmas, and I was four and a half years old.' 'Who was she exactly? Queen Elizabeth's grandmother?' 'No: great-great english
my first amorous adventure 'MY FIRST AMOROUS adventure?' repeated Lord Godolphin thoughtfully. 'Well, in our family the tradition never varied much. There was always Miss Crewe, who h english
my new-bug's exam WHEN LIGHTS WENT out at half-past nine in the evening of the second Friday in the Quarter, and the faint footfalls of the departing House-master were heard english
no, mac, it just wouldn't work A WILD CHARACTER, obviously high and wearing a Mexican hat, though he wasn't Mexican but, in fact, Boston Irish (which can be just as wild), edged up to me english
old papa johnson IN JULY 1916 I was in hospital with one Captain H.H. Johnson of the Army Service Corps, who had a habit of referring to himself in the third person as 'Old english
period piece IT WAS ONE July in the reign of Edward the Good, alias Edward the Peacemaker, and I went for the long week-end to Castle Balch -- fine place in Oxfordshire english
school life in majorca 1955 DEARMRS HAMPSTEAD-HENDON: Mother asks me to answer about schools for your children when you come to see us in Majorca, because they are the same age as Rich english
she landed yesterday AFTER COLLECTING THE family mail at five o'clock one Friday afternoon, in Majorca, where I live, I stopped by at the village café, and found everyone distur english
thames-side reverie (Written while I was living in a converted Thames barge moored at Hammersmith.) A SUDDEN HOARSE shouting woke me. I looked out of the window beside my bed. english
the abominable mr gunn ONE MONDAY MORNING in September 1910, the abominable Mr J.O.G. Gunn, master of the Third Form at Brown Friars, trod liverishly down the aisle between two ro english
the five godfathers DEAR AUNTIE MAY, About that christening. The baby's father, Don Onofre Tur y Tur, was a lawyer; but that doesn't mean much here in Majorca. Only a few lawye english
the french thing 'WHO THE DEUCE put this foul French thing on my surgery table?' Bella Nightingale took the crumpled magazine from him and studied the photographs over her b english
the full length WILLIAM ('THE KID') Nicholson, my father-in-law, could never rid himself of the Victorian superstition that a thousand guineas were a thousand guineas; inco english
the lost chinese JAUME GELABERT WAS a heavily-built, ill-kempt, morose Majorcan lad of seventeen. His father had died in 1936 at the siege of Madrid, but on the losing side, english
the myconian I OUTSIDE THE WINESHOP everyone was teasing the mild-mannered stranger who wore the grey cloak of a Greek philosopher. The usual run of philosophers are muc english
the shout WHEN WE ARRIVED with our bags at the Asylum cricket ground, the chief medical officer, whom I had met at the house where I was staying, came up to shake han english
the tenement: a vision of imperial rome 'GREETINGS, MY LORD! Red dawn and a clear sky,' says Sophron, as he gently opens the shutters of an unglazed window. I can see climbing plants on my balcony english
the viscountess and the short-haired girl TWENTY-FIVE YEARS ago, Master Toni, the squat, bald, dark-eyed, muscular, smiling proprietor of our village garage, invited me to dinner on his Saint's Day. english
the whitaker negroes HAUNTINGS, WHETHER IN waking life or dream, are emotionally so powerful, yet can be so rarely ascribed to any exterior agency, that they are now by common c english
the white horse or 'the great southern ghost story' THERE HAD ALWAYS been a Colonel Flack at Sophie, Georgia, even while it was still called Sophiaville, and a Doc Halloran, too; not to mention a Lawyer Pritc english
they say... they say THIS IS SATURDAY, listeners, and here I am standing beside the old recording van in a Spanish seaport town on the Costa Brava. The sun is pretty hot, even f english
thy servant and god's DEAR UNCLE GEORGE, Don't ask me whether Spanish is easy to learn; because Spain is where I live and I can't remember when I couldn't talk it. And I don't kn english
treacle tart THE NEWS TRAVELLED from group to group along the platform of Victoria Station, impressing our parents and kid-sisters almost as much as ourselves. A lord wa english
trín-trín-trín -- TRíN-TRíN-TRíN! -- Speak to me! -- Is that the house of Gravés? Can one talk with Don Roberto? -- At the apparatus! On behalf of whom? -- I am Don Blas M english
week-end at cwm tatws I SHOULDN'T bring the story up -- there's nothing in it really, except the sequel -- if it wasn't already current in a garbled form. What happens to me I pr english
you win, houdini! Jenkins, Howell & Edwards, Solicitors, 3, Victory Chambers, Pontypool, S. Wales. July 24th, 1959 Dear Captain Graves, You're unlikely to recall my name afte english